Mommy-ISMS: Part I

Here are a few things I have learned or noticed since becoming a mommy:

 

• The amount of spit-up in my hair or on my clothes will determine if it is wash-worthy.
• The amount of spit-up in her hair or on her clothes will determine if it is wash-worthy.
• I will eat something that has fallen on the floor if it means getting out the door faster.
• My reaction to being peed on:  “Pee is sterile.”
• I can do all the animal sounds during one feeding of solids.  Twice.  And a song.  Or two.
• I stopped saying, “My child/baby will never . . .”
• When people without children say, “I understand . . .” I laugh in their face.  Or in my head.
• I appreciate SILENCE.
• I have become a neat FREAK.
• My new hangout curfew is 7:30 PM.
• I have learned that poops-up-the-back most often happen right before work or in a public place.
• Boogers, sharts, pooplosions, and projectile vomit no longer faze me.
• I have learned to do things one-handed.
• I think anyone who is pregnant or has baby urges before her child turns one is batshit crazy.  Or super.  But probably crazy.

***The other day I met a woman with a 10-month old who is pregnant with her second child due in 2 weeks.  <insert expletive/emoticon>  She and her husband must have had “relations” just seconds after she gave birth to the first one.

• I cherish sleep.  I will never complain about only getting five hours of sleep again.

 

Mommies out there, would you care to share yours?

My little bombshell:

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