The German Shepherd from HELL

I would call myself a dog lover.

I’m the proud owner of this little fellow:

He’s my makeshift baby.

I’ve always been a dog lover.  My first dog was a fluffy red-brown haired pomeranian named Pebbles.  Apparently, my stripper name would be Pebbles Diamond (the name of your first pet + the first street on which you lived).  Not a bad stripper name, I think.

We gave her away, mainly because my madre could hardly handle having a pet indoors, particularly one that would have seasonal menstrual cycles and bleed in random corners of the house.

We then had a series of jindo dogs.  The one that stuck was Noel.  She sorta looked like this pup:

As with most Korean families, my family did not know the first thing about caring for a dog.  (I’m a firm believer that 1st generation Koreans may be among the worst dog owners on the planet.)  I think Noel had maybe 1 or 2 baths in her lifetime (which consisted of spraying her down with a hose) and 2 walks.  I think she’s somewhere in doggie heaven now (R. I. P.).

Now, there’s Kobe.  Kobe’s a spoiled little bitch. . . but I love him.  He gets fed twice a day, walked three times a day, bathed. . . when I’m feeling generous, and has a multitude of toys (which he absolutely LOVES).

Down the street from us lives one of these mongrels:

And one of these:

EVERY TIME I walk past this house, these two mongrels have a bark fest that lasts nothing short of 5 minutes.

One night we all happened to be out at the same time and the German Shepherd from HELL bee-lined for Kobe, growling and ready to pounce.  I was stunned, and before I could ask the owner why the hell he keeps his devil dog UNLEASHED, all three of them had already run back into the house.  I would have knocked on their door, but fear of the devil dogs held me back.

So I declared a silent war on the household.


Nonviolent resistance, civil disobedience, passive aggressiveness – whatever you’d like to call it.

Sometimes when I walk by, I’ll glare at their door or shuffle my feet just loud enough so that they’ll bark and hopefully piss off a few neighbors.  Maybe they’ll file a complaint with our wonderful HOA, who will then inform the owners that they need to keep their devil dogs LEASHED and QUIET.  Maybe.

Or perhaps I’ll anonymously leave a wire basket muzzle on their front porch:

That might not be such a terrible idea.

One day.

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6 thoughts on “The German Shepherd from HELL

  1. omg, we have a devil dog in our neighborhood too!! it starts going crazy as soon as it sees a single human being and we always shoot the owner an evil glance. we call it DD. :p

    btw, if what you say is true about the stripper name, i have a pretty bad stripper name….. the first street i lived on was called Wetmore…. Mickey Wetmore…… now THAT’S a stripper name! :p

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