Surfing the Crimson Wave

I once had a teacher in the 7th grade who never failed to wear black jeans whenever it was her “time of the month.”  How did our astute class of 12 year-olds figure this out?  She was always bitchiest when she wore her black jeans.  Her outrageous change in moods also won her the nickname of “Ms. BEAST” (a clever play off of her real name which I’m now afraid to write after reading Anne Lamott’s chapter on libel).

In 8th grade I had a teacher (with a similarly ridiculous surname) who made the terrible mistake of keeping her tampon in the same pocket she kept her chalk.  In the middle of her lesson, she reached inside her pocket and out flew her tampon.  If my memory serves me right, it was as if the tampon had wings of its own and flew about the room for a few minutes before safely landing on the other side.  She walked over coolly to where the tampon had landed, bent down, and slipped it back in her pocket.  She tried to return to her lesson as if nothing had happened, although it was obvious to everyone else in the room that her face was on fire.

I think that was the highlight of our 8th grade year.  We certainly talked about it for many months afterward.  Actually, my friend Jessica and I may have talked about it the other day.

Junior high school students can be so cruel.


3 thoughts on “Surfing the Crimson Wave

  1. yipes…how mortifying…i was imagining myself in that situation..luckily 5th graders don’t really know what tampons are just yet…

  2. you are so funny. you write so vivid. for some reason, i am picturing this scenario taking place in my junior high classroom. anne lamott would be proud.

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