Today I wanted it to rain. And I hate the rain.
I hate the rain for hundreds of different reasons. For starters, the first and only time I got into a major car accident was on a day of “first rain.” I suppose the combination of slick roads and my nearly bald tires is what might have caused this. To say that this was a near-death experience may verge on the side of being dramatic, but I did black out upon impact and had a pretty badly-bruised face. In any event, my war wounds made me look bad ass.
Other reasons: Worms. Gross. I was walking Kobe the other day and must have kicked or splashed one up onto my bare leg. This resulted in screams and subsequent shivers once I got indoors.
Did I also mention that I wear glasses? Wiping them doesn’t help either. Try looking through water-streaked glasses for a few hours and you will want to rip your eyeballs out. I suppose the alternative would be to not wear them and bump into things.
And of course there are hundreds of other reasons.
I am pretty certain I am in the minority when I say this. Most people I know can’t wait for the rainy season. They love to sit by the fireplace and curl up with a good book or play the piano while they hear the pitter patter outside. Not me. I prefer sunny skies to a downpour.
But today, I welcomed the rain.
I’ve been reading a book titled Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. Have you ever read a book that so perfectly described all of the thoughts and emotions swirling around in your head, some you didn’t even know you had or at the very least, didn’t have the capacity to express in the moment? This book has been a pure gift, but it has also made my heart raw and exposed.
Surely people deal with pain and grief in a variety of ways. Some people will self-medicate with drugs or happy juice. Others might eat their heart out – quite literally. Or if you’re like me, you will keep yourself busy to the point of no return. Pile on the work, dinners with girlfriends, date nights, movies, and in the quiet times do everything in your power to occupy your time with mind-numbing iPhone games like Bejeweled or Cooking Dash. Or you might even exercise and beat the hell out of your body just so you can crash when the rest of the world is sleeping. Anything you can do to keep your mind running. . . just keep moving.
And then there are others who might shave their head. I’m certainly not gutsy or adorable enough for that. Try imagining me with a shaved head and thick glasses. Just slap some pearl earrings on me and call me Mrs. Potato Head.
Today I welcomed the rain.