Here are a few things I have learned or noticed since becoming a mommy:
- The amount of spit-up in my hair or on my clothes will determine if it is wash-worthy.
- The amount of spit-up in her hair or on her clothes will determine if it is wash-worthy.
- I will eat something that has fallen on the floor if it means getting out the door faster.
- My reaction to being peed on: “Pee is sterile.”
- I can do all the animal sounds during one feeding of solids. Twice. And a song. Or two.
- I stopped saying, “My child/baby will never . . .”
- When people without children say, “I understand . . .” I laugh in their face. Or in my head.
- I appreciate SILENCE.
- I have become a neat FREAK.
- My new hangout curfew is 7:30 PM.
- I have learned that poops-up-the-back most often happen right before work or in a public place.
- Boogers, sharts, pooplosions, and projectile vomit no longer faze me.
- I have learned to do things one-handed.
- I think anyone who is pregnant or has baby urges before her child turns one is batshit crazy. Or super. But probably crazy.
***The other day I met a woman with a 10-month old who is pregnant with her second child due in 2 weeks. <insert expletive/emoticon> She and her husband must have had “relations” just seconds after she gave birth to the first one.
- I cherish sleep. I will never complain about only getting five hours of sleep again.
Mommies out there, would you care to share yours?
My little bombshell: