1 Year

Sassafras is now 1 year old!  And we all lived to see this day!

I remember in the early months, in my depressed and anxiety-ridden state, I would count down each hour, day and week.  When she was four weeks old, I would stare at my baby and think, “Okay, we’re both still alive.  That’s a good thing.”  At the time, I could not even imagine making it to year one (or month two for that matter).  And yet, here we are.

I remember many moms telling me to “enjoy every moment.”  And it would make me cringe.  I do not know a single person who enjoys sleep deprivation.  And if you do, perhaps you have supernatural, other-worldly powers that us lay folks lack.

But I am beginning to understand how bittersweet it is to watch your child grow.  And the sheer amount of learning and development that happens in that first year is amazing.  I have many proud mama moments, and I have caught myself saying, “Do you remember when she used to . . . ” reminding myself of how far my baby has come.  I surprised myself with how emotional I became over Sassafras turning one.  I was sad the time had gone by so quickly, and I wanted to hold onto my baby just a bit longer because I am sure each subsequent year will go by faster and faster.  And then someone reminded me, “But there is so much to look forward to!”  And then I was okay.

Of course, one day it will be great to have a child who can wipe her own ass and can speak in coherent sentences.

KK and I have begun a tradition of writing letters to Aliya on her birthday in hopes that one day she will have a collection of letters to look back on and see a glimpse of how much she was loved.  This might be one of my favorite traditions.

The birthday party was a success, despite Sassafras’ head cold that weekend.  At least everyone else had a good time.  I am fortunate to be surrounded by talented, creative, and helpful family and friends who essentially did everything (decorations, favors, set-up, tear-down, photography, etc.).  I suppose I did 100% of the physical labor of pushing Aliya out into this world, so I was okay with it.  I hate planning parties.  I am the worst person to ask to throw any kind of bridal/baby/birthday party/shower/event.  I am saying this as a public service announcement, and not to be self-deprecating.

Here are just a few of my favorite shots from the day (taken by the very talented Felicia Cheng):

Doljabi is a Korean 1st birthday tradition where you place several items, each having a different meaning, in front of the baby; whichever item they choose first is supposed to foretell their future.

Aliya chose the stethoscope:

Happy as a clam with Daddy:

Here I am with Aliya in her hanbok (traditional Korean dress):

And finally, a picture of the three of us:

And to many more. . .