In a few short months, our little family of three will become a family of four!
We found out I was pregnant the day after Thanksgiving, and for the next three months I went into hiding. I stopped writing altogether, and I sat on pins and needles to reach the end of the first trimester. Maybe it’s because I’m Mrs. Doomsday, but the miscarriage with my first pregnancy stole any kind of first trimester excitement for every pregnancy thereafter. It is scary to give your heart to a little person you are not sure you may ever meet, and even still, I know anything can happen between now and August when I hope to meet this little guy. That’s right, there is a little penis growing inside of me (though my friend says I should never call it a “little penis” or I may give him a complex some day).
I am as excited as I am scared; I STILL REMEMBER. I wish God had erased my memories of those sleepless nights, but they are still there. One can only hope it won’t be as bad the second time around, but at least this time I will be armed with a prescription in one hand and my therapist’s number in the other.
Having a boy is another story. The other week I volunteered to serve in the toddler room at church, and what I witnessed was both enlightening and terrifying. The little girls were stacking blocks, reading books, sitting and playing with toys. The little boys were running around in circles, screaming, smashing shopping carts into the wall, and throwing balls at each other’s heads. I used to think mine was a wild child until that day. Now I’m going to have a son, oh boy!
With a new baby on the way, and a boy at that, I feel like I am starting all over again. But I am so looking forward to meeting him and getting to know him. If he’s anything like Aliya, then I will really be surrounded by miniature copies of my husband. I’m sure he would just love that.
And so, the adventure continues …