Glass Eyeball

I could have been fitted for one of these:

A GLASS EYEBALL.

True story:

When I was 12, I contracted some rare type of fierce cornea-eating bacteria in my right eye and was rushed off to see an ophthalmologist (by an ex-family practitioner who I’m surprised hasn’t been sued for malpractice yet) for a diagnosis.

I was the only one in that waiting room under the age of 80.  Everyone else was there to nurse their cataracts or glaucoma.

I remember Dr. Collier, the ophthalmologist, telling me that if I had come in 24 hours later, he would have needed to fit me for a glass eye.  To this day, I’m not sure if he was joking or speaking the cold hard truth.  I sometimes have difficulty differentiating between the two.

The coolest part?  Wearing one of these bad boys:

Elle Driver = BAD ASS

If I could whistle, I would right now.